Oh the joy of the Lord’s chastening! What?! Did I really say that? Yes…yes I did!
Did you ever get directions and take off running on your own…only to find out later that you only obeyed partially because you did not stay long enough to understand the full extent of what was said? This was a bad habit I used to have and one that I thought I overcame. Well, unfortunately I was wrong!
Last year when the Lord was speaking to me during my quiet time, He kept repeating,
“Don’t look back!”
I understood this as a “command“. Unfortunately, I neglected to seek Holy Spirit to guide me in fully understanding this statement. By relying on what I thought I understood, I missed that the Lord’s words were also a “warning“ to me and not just a command!
As I shared in my last post, “That’s Not Your Garment!”, my family went through a major shift in direction. For several months the Lord told me He would be moving us and as the time got closer, He would remind me, “Don’t look back!”
Holy Spirit even led me to Luke 9:57-62, The Cost of Following Jesus, to confirm. Specifically, Luke 9:62 says, “But Jesus told him, ‘Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.’“ So if I daydreamed of how things used to be or how I wished they could have been, I would immediately feel that tug in my heart, and change my thinking to remain “fit for the Kingdom of God”. Since I thought I had a clear understanding, I never sought God any further on this subject.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Lean not on your understanding, but acknowledge Him and He will make you paths straight.”
Well, although I thought I was in complete obedience, I wasn’t and therefore, my path began to weave and turn in directions that made it more difficult for me to keep a kingdom focus. Matter of fact, some turns were downright painful! These twists and turns were not God’s plan for me. But praise the Lord for His unending love and faithfulness! He never left nor forsake me and was always there with open arms when I would run to Him for comfort!
In a time of deeply crying out to God, He revealed to me that my desire to never turn my back on someone in need, was so strong that I neglected to seek Him on how to handle the relationship or the subject matter. Holy Spirit attempted to straighten my path by speaking through my husband. I sadly admit that I assumed he was speaking out of his flesh and dismissed his words of wisdom. This would have been a great time to humble myself and seek God about what Curtis shared with me. But I missed that opportunity as well.
Oh how I cried when the Lord told me,